Different
by Ireland Notes
Summary: In this world Anakin wasn't born the chosen one, but he was no less special. A modern day Anidala AU
1. Chapter 1

_New: This first chapter is a repost. I realized I posted it on my old account, so I had to fix that. Sorry, forgive me for the inconvenience._

 _This has been sitting on my laptop for awhile, nearly complete but I've been extremely nervous to post it. It deals with some sensitive, unconventional (in the terms of fanfics) subject matters, and I believe it frankly is the biggest AU I've ever done. So much so that I feel like it's more of a borrowing of characters instead of an alternate universe as MANY things are different. I may just post this single chapter and see how you all react, as it only gets odder as it continues. Feel free to tell me off in a review if you get where this is going..._

* * *

 **Different**

 _Chapter 1_

 _It Began With A Different Seat_

* * *

My name is Anakin Skywalker and I lived in Coruscant.

Coruscant was a big place. It was a large university town, divided into areas mostly devoted to the locals, the Council University campus grounds, and Uptown Coruscant, where everyone shopped and went out to eat. The shops mostly catered to the students, and most of the buildings even had student apartments on the second story, on top of the storefronts. First-year students lived in campus housing, but upperclassmen lived in apartments and rented houses within a few blocks of Uptown.

Most of the kids in my class had at least one parent who worked for Council University. My mother had taught social science in the school of education. Growing up here was all right, I guess. I enjoyed summers the most when all of the students would leave Coruscant to the townies, and I could find a parking space Uptown when I needed one.

I headed to my first class—AP Ecology. I opened my locker and carefully placed the folders from my book bag into their proper places on the little metal shelf. The corresponding textbook was placed next to the folders in order of my class schedule, my meager lunch placed on the top shelf, and the empty backpack on the hook. Then I pulled out the ecology textbook and green folder to take to class. I checked my watch and quickly headed to the classroom. I should get there with about ten seconds to spare. I couldn't stand being late, but I also didn't want to be there early.

I walked inside Mr. Palpatine's lab and turned down the aisle toward my desk. There was already someone in my seat. He was a really big, wide-shouldered guy. I hadn't seen him before, but he could have been one of the kids who transferred from another school. I wasn't concerned about _where_ he came from though. The problem was he was in my seat. Maybe I should have been a few second earlier.

I stopped between desks—right between Dorme Andrews and Plo Koon—and just stared at the floor for a minute. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. That was the seat where _I_ was supposed to be sitting. I had been in that seat all year, and it was spring. This was a two-semester course, so I had been in that same seat each and every school day for over a hundred days. _One hundred and twelve._

"Anakin, take a seat, please," Mr. Palpatine said from the front of the room. "It's time to start, and I've got a lot of material to cover before you break into groups."

Someone in my seat and group work. Double whammy. I looked at the guy in the chair, then up at Mr. Palpatine. My pulse was beginning to pound in my temples, and I was having a hard time keeping my breathing in check. I kicked the toe of one foot with the heel of the other—trying to snap myself out of it—but it didn't work. I turned around and went up to the front of the class. "Mr. Palpatine," I said, "there's someone in my seat."

"There aren't any assigned seats, Anakin," Mr. Palpatine said with one of those odd smiles of his.

I stared at the papers on his desk.

All of my teachers were supposed to know the ins and outs of my education plan, including some of my triggers such as unexpected change. Most of them were great about sticking to the plan, but Mr. Palpatine didn't seem to understand how much it could impact me. Or he didn't care...

"But…my seat…" I could barely hear my own voice. "Rex just transferred here," Mr. Palpatine said, his smile becoming tighter. I think he was aggravated. "There's an open seat behind Padme."

Padme. Padme Naberrie. I glanced over at the brunette with the long, wavy hair as she leaned forward with a smile on her face and chatted with Rush Clovis. She had large brown eyes and full lips. She was smart, popular, beautiful, and she was the co-captain of the girls' soccer team along with Dorme Andrews. It could be worse. She was usually pretty nice to me. Rush, the king of my high school, was a whole other story. He'd given me a hard time since elementary. He was a classic bully, right down to the overbearing, overachieving father, who was also a city councilman.

I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to get my bearings. My entire body was tense—poised for fight or flight. Probably flight. But flight would mean not graduating. I could have gotten my GED already if I wanted to go that route. I didn't want that. I wanted the diploma. I wanted to get into a good school so I could manage a decent career and be able to pay my little sister's medical bills.

You _can_ do this. I tried grinding my teeth to see if that would help my feet move, but it didn't. I realized it was because my eyes were still closed, and I'd probably trip over my feet if I tried. I opened my eyes again and took a couple of shuffling steps to the other side of the room. The other side. Far from the door. _Shit, shit, shit_.

With a shudder, I managed to sit down in the seat behind Padme Naberrie. She glanced back at me. "Hey, Anakin!" I crossed my arms on the desk and stared at the little hairs on my wrist. I took another long breath and closed my eyes, trying to imagine myself in my regular seat and that Padme had just decided to sit in front of me. It didn't help much because if she were there, where would Kit sit? I shuddered a little.

"Hey," I managed to say quietly. Thankfully, Mr. Palpatine started his lecture then. What he had to say didn't help at all, though—group work. _Shit, shit,_ _ **shit!**_

"Everyone will be divided into pairs, choose a potential risk to our biosphere Earth, explore the causes and potential implications of that risk, and then present your findings to the class." Pairs. I relaxed a little. Kit and I had known each other since we were both pulled out of the regular classes in the third grade for our "superior cognitive abilities." He was the closest thing I had to a friend, and we always worked on projects like this together. When Mr. Palpatine had mentioned group work, I thought he meant a larger group. I didn't do well in those. I tried to keep my focus on the good news as opposed to the potential for public speaking, which just wasn't going to happen. Kit would do it for us.

"Rush and Shaak, pair up. Kit and Rex, Dorme and Plo, Padme and Anakin…"

"Wha-what?" I interrupted.

"You and Padme will work on your project together," Mr. Palpatine confirmed. He smiled, and I wondered if he had brushed his teeth that morning.

"I work with Kit," I reminded him. Surely he just forgot.

"Kit's going to work with our new student," Mr. Palpatine said. "You will be working with Padme."

My heart began to pound, and blood rushed to my ears, which also began to pound. I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold this one back, so I got up and ran out into the hallway. I didn't look back. With sweat running from my hairline and onto my neck, I headed straight for the front door, trying to figure out where I could go to hide. I ended up just running laps around the football field. Once I managed to calm down, I went to the office and tried to change out of AP Ecology and into anything else, anything that would give me the science credit I needed for graduation.

"I'm sorry, Anakin," the secretary told me, "but it's too late in the semester to switch."

"Is Mr. Organa available?" Mr. Organa was the special education consultant for the school. He worked in a lot of the schools around the county, and I met with him twice a year to go over my individual education plan.

"Mr. Organa won't be on site until next Tuesday."

I wanted to bang my head against the wall, but giving myself a concussion certainly wasn't going to help. I couldn't just drop ecology for a study hall and graduate on time, and Mr. Palpatine was clear the project was going to be a major chunk of our semester grade, so I couldn't just opt out of the project. I was stuck. I would have to do it to keep my GPA up.

I heard the door open behind me and looked back over my shoulder to see none other than Padme Naberrie herself, followed by Dorme.

Padme reached over the counter and dropped a paper on the office desk before turning to me with a smile. "I tried to wait for you to come back," she said quietly, "but Mr. Palpatine said we had to choose from a list today. I picked honey bees. I hope that's okay."

I just stared at her for a minute, watching the way her mouth moved while I tried to figure out just what the hell I was supposed to say back to her.

"Honey bees?" I finally managed to say.

"The depletion of honey bee populations could have a drastic impact on our ecosystems," she replied.

"Oh…um…I have work to do tonight," I finally said. "I can't work on it."

"Tomorrow, then?" she suggested. "We could work on it in the library or maybe at my place?" Dorme shuffled her feet behind Padme and tossed her long, brown hair over her shoulder. I wondered if she wanted to say something but was holding back. She had a soccer bag over her shoulder, and I figured they had already started practice for the spring season.

"Anakin," Padme said again, "is the library okay?"

"Not the library," I said softly. That's where football couch. Every time he saw me, he badgered me to play football. They were always short on players, and if there weren't enough people signed up to play, the funding would be cut.

"Okay," she responded. "My place?"

"Your place?" I repeated, like a total idiot. Normally, I didn't make eye contact with people, but I couldn't stop looking at her eyes. I had never really looked at them before. Most people with brown eyes had speckles of a lighter color or a lot of variations in the hues, but hers were almost solid brown—like a chocolate bar.

"After school?"

"Okay." I could barely get the sound out because I had totally stopped breathing.

"Cool! Do you need directions?"

"No," I said. "I know where you live."

"Then I'll see you tomorrow!" She turned to Dorme, and they both skipped out of the office while I tried to breathe again.

Different _seat_ , different _project partner_ —these were the kinds of things I couldn't have stack up on me all at once. Despite the run around the field, I was still too worked up to deal with any more surprises today. I quickly signed myself out of school for the day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Different**

 _Chapter 2_

 _Riding in Cars with Girls_

* * *

Finally pulling myself up from the ground, I began to walk and headed down the road. Of course, it started to rain about then—just a little sprinkle. The sprinkle quickly turned into a downpour, naturally, and I was sopping wet as I trudged down the sidewalk, staring at my feet as I went. I stepped over every crack in the sidewalk, trying to pace my steps just right so I didn't have to walk awkwardly. As I came to intersections or driveways, I lifted my shoulders up a little higher until I got past.

When I was a kid in the car, I would always lift my feet off the floor when we went past driveways—like I was jumping over them. The fixation on the act helped keep me calm and kept me from worrying about whether or not my clothes would be ruined by the rain.

I counted steps between drives. I counted red cars as they passed by me. I counted the number of breaths it took when I had to cross the street.

As focused as I was, I didn't even hear my name at first. "Anakin? Anakin, is that you?" I looked up into the face of—once again—Padme Naberrie. She was in an older model, sky-blue Porsche, and she pulled over right beside me—facing the wrong way on the street.

"What are you doing in this rain?" she asked. I could only shake my head at her. "You want a ride home?"

"It's only another mile," I responded. She sighed, looked a little exasperated, and pursed her lips together.

"Anakin, don't be ridiculous. You'll catch a cold or something."

"Viruses aren't caused by weather," I said.

"Let me give you a ride," she said more insistently.

"You're on the wrong side of the road."

"If I move, will you get in?"

I didn't know how to respond to that. It would make me feel better, that was for sure. Right now she was facing traffic, even if there wasn't anyone coming. It just didn't look right—not at all. Without waiting for me to respond, she backed up a little and repositioned the car at the curb on the other side of the road. "Well, come on then!" she called out the window. "I'm getting wet here, too!"

"You don't have to do this!" I called back to her. About that time, the thunder started rolling in. Lightning burst across the sky, and the rain came down even harder.

"Get in the damn car, Anakin." When she put it that way, I didn't really feel like I had a choice, so I looked both ways, lifted my shoulders, crossed the street, and went around to the passenger side. Standing in the rain was a little ridiculous, and I didn't want Padme to end up all wet, so I got in the car. I shivered, and Padme turned up the heat in the Porsche.

"I'm getting the seat wet," I said quietly, and my heart began to pound. Padme laughed.

"I seriously doubt you could affect the resale value by getting the leather seat wet," she said. "Besides, this is a hand-me-down from my uncle. He found it at a car auction."

"I'm sorry," I said anyway.

"It's okay," she said. "Really. It will wipe right off." I looked down at my hands in my lap and watched her out of the corner of my eye. It occurred to me that I had no idea what kind of a driver she was, and I inhaled sharply, feeling my breath catch in my throat. I wanted to close my eyes, but I had to keep them on her to make sure she didn't make any mistakes. She was watching me closely, and her forehead was creased a little. She gave me a tight-lipped smile, then put the car into first and looked over her shoulder for other cars. She glanced at me once more and then pulled out slowly. She went the exact speed limit and kept her eyes on the road. Air filled my lungs again, and I felt myself relax a little.

"Where do you live?" Padme asked softly. She didn't look over at me, and I was grateful she was concentrating on what she was doing.

"Star Circle," I told her. "At the end of Sabrehead."

"Oh, okay! That's over by Dorme's, right?"

"Yes," I said. "She lives six houses down and across the street."

 _Shit, shit,_ _ **shit!**_ I became increasingly aware that I was in a vintage vehicle with the beautiful and popular Padme Naberrie, and I was about as ill-prepared to talk to her.

My heart pounded in my chest, and my vision became blurry. I squeezed my thighs with my hands, trying to stop myself from shaking. Don't do this… _ **don't**_ _do this_ …not in front of her…please… I was vaguely aware that the car had stopped, and Padme was saying my name over and over. I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I could do the same with my ears. My body jumped uncontrollably when her hand touched my shoulder, and she said the only thing that could have caused me to answer her.

"Should I call 911?" Her voice was panicked.

"No!" I squeaked. "No…don't! I just need to get home."

"We're here," she said quietly. I yanked at the door handle, which wouldn't budge the door. A strange sound came out of my throat when I yanked again and realized I was trapped.

Before Padme exited the car, I heard her tell me she would open the door, and she ran around to the other side. She opened the door, and I practically fell out on top of her. Then I ran. I ran straight for the front door, opened it, and slammed it behind me. I dropped down onto my ass just inside and leaned against it. I could hear her outside, yelling at me. "Anakin! Anakin Skywalker! Are you okay? Anakin, please open the door! I want to know you are all right!" I ignored her. I closed my eyes, pulled into myself, and calculated pi.

"Anakin! Anakin, my dad is working from home today! I'll call him, and he'll break the door down!" I wasn't falling for that. He would have no legal right to enter my house without the police and a search warrant. There was no just cause.

She continued to call out pointless threats, and I went through the engine specifications of an Audi R8. Finally, there was silence outside.

A moment later, there was knocking again.

"Anakin?" she called through the wooden door. "Anakin—I have your book bag."

 _Shit, shit,_ _ **shit!**_

I'd left it in the car. "You can't do your homework without it, so you're going to have to let me in." Moaning, I grabbed at my hair and pulled. The minor pain helped me focus a little. There was no way I could get along for the night without the things in my book bag. My homework was there, if nothing else, and my lunchbox. How would I pack lunch for tomorrow if I didn't have my lunchbox? I forced a deep breath inside of me, stood up on shaky legs, and opened the door.

She smiled at me triumphantly, and I scowled back at her. "Are you going to invite me in?" she asked.

"What if you're a vampire?" I replied and instantly wanted to smack myself on the back of the head for saying something so stupid.

"A vampire?"

"They, um…" I stammered. "They can't come inside your house unless you invite them."

"I promise I'm not a vampire."

"If you were, that's just what you would say." We stared at each other for a moment, and I could see she wasn't going to back down. Besides, she hadn't relinquished my backpack, and it was still raining outside. I stepped off to the right, and she walked in past me. She put the book bag on the floor as she walked in and looked around. I quickly grabbed it and put it on the bench where it was supposed to be before following Padme into the family room.

"You're all wet, too," I said as I realized she was dripping on the carpet.

"Oh!" Padme took a quick step back to the tile foyer. "Sorry about that. I can clean it up."

"It's okay," I said. It wasn't, but a wet floor wasn't a trigger point, so I wasn't going to get too upset about it. The carpet was old and easily cleaned. "I'll get you a towel." I ran upstairs to the bathroom, taking out a large beach towel and examining it for a minute. It was blue and green with purple seashells on it and a little bit threadbare. I vaguely remembered my mother buying it when we were vacationing at beach. I put it back, then tiptoed into the master bath to pull out one of the large, fluffy, cream-colored towels from under the sink there. It was soft and definitely classier than a beach towel.

 _Classy_? A towel? I shook my head and walked back downstairs.

"You live here alone, don't you?" I squeezed my eyes shut for a second before handing her the towel. I tried to decide if I could handle her here, asking me a lot of questions. I wasn't sure why, but having her here really wasn't upsetting me too much. It was a little uncomfortable but nothing I couldn't handle.

"Yes," I said quietly. My mouth turned up in a half-smile.

"I bet you have fun here all by yourself," she exclaimed. "No parents!" I froze, and the whole atmosphere of the room changed drastically. "Oh, Anakin—I'm sorry!" she cried. "I wasn't…I just meant…damn, I wasn't thinking."

My body felt chilled, and I couldn't look up from the floor. I did manage to speak. "It's okay," I said slowly. "I know she's dead." She fiddled with the towel in her hands and shuffled her feet.

"I'm sorry," she said again. I shrugged and just stood there, still looking at the floor. Some of the rainwater in my hair dribbled down the side of my face. I closed my eyes again. "You're still soaked," Padme said quietly. She took a step toward me, and the next thing I knew, she was reaching up with the towel and rubbing it across my head. She was so, so close to me—closer than any non-relative female had ever been—and she smelled so good. I inhaled slowly through my nose and tried to figure out the scent—something like peonies. For some reason, it seemed to relax me a little.

I opened my eyes and looked down at her. She had a slight smile on her face, and her gaze was fixed on her hands and the towel she was running over my head, which also felt wonderful. After a minute, she pulled the towel away from my mostly dried hair and tossed it over her shoulder. She looked at me for a moment, smiled a little more, and then reached up and ran her fingers through my hair. She pushed it back up off my forehead and then twisted it around her fingers. "You need a haircut," she said.

"I know," I replied. She fiddled with it some more. "It doesn't stay where I put it," I said randomly, but it seemed to make her smile again. When she smiled, her dark eyes lit up, too.

"I see that," she smirked. "Do you want me to cut it for you?"

I just stared at her, trying to comprehend what she was asking. "I cut my dad's all the time," she said. "I'm good at it—I swear."

"You want to…cut my hair?"

"I will," she said, "if that's okay with you."

I couldn't seem to form any words to answer her, so I silently found a pair of hair-cutting shears and sat down on a chair in the kitchen. Trying to stay still while Padme was near me with a pair of scissors was not easy. I knew I needed a haircut. I had planned on getting one at the end of the month, when I usually got paid for my website work. I just didn't have much extra money on hand. It was all budgeted exactly with the remainder going into the account for college. I kept whatever didn't round evenly for spending money. The lady who usually cut my hair knew just how much to take off. I didn't like it if it was changed too much, and she had managed to figure out exactly how I wanted it cut after I freaked out on her once. Padme didn't know, and even as I sat on the kitchen stool with the cream-colored towel around my shoulders, I felt myself start to hyperventilate.

"Not too much," I managed to gasp out as she came up behind me. "Please." I felt her fingers moving through my hair right before a comb followed.

"Only a little," Padme said as she leaned over to look in my face. I kept my eyes away from hers, choosing to look down at the curve of her neck instead. She had very pale skin. There weren't many freckles or anything on it, either. I had a weird desire to touch it.

"I promise," she said softly and I almost felt as if I were safe right here, right now with her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Different**

 _Chapter 3_

 _Just A Little Thank You_

* * *

There was still a smile on her face when our eyes met. "Just a little," she said again. Her eyes were intense, and I flinched a bit. "Okay?"

"Just a little," I whispered back. Sitting completely still, I closed my eyes and waited for her to be done. She pulled the hair away from my head in little bits. I would hear the snip of the scissors, and then she'd move to the next part. I tensed only a little at the sound when it came close to my ears. There was a strange feeling of unreality, like this was all just a dream, and I was still asleep, almost ready for the alarm to go off and wake me to get ready for school.

I turned my head a little and looked at Padme. She was standing in the kitchen where my mother had cooked dinner. It was just weird.

"All done!" Padme announced. "Do you have a mirror?"

"Upstairs," I said.

"Do you want to go look?" She seemed nervous, and I wondered what she thought of being here with me, which made me realize something.

"No one has been in the kitchen since my mom died," I said, "except for my Uncle Obi-Wan."

Padme took a half step back, and I heard her gasp. I stood from the stool and moved around her with my eyes on the ground. Once in the upstairs bathroom, I turned my eyes to the mirror over the sink. My hair was noticeably shorter. When I turned my head to the side and looked at it more closely, I determined it wasn't as short as the lady who usually cut it would have made it. Actually, it was better—less of a change but still a little shorter so I didn't have to worry about it getting too long.

I was smiling when Padme appeared in the mirror behind me. "Is it okay?" she asked. "I didn't take much off."

"It's…just right." I looked at her eyes in the mirror and smiled back at her.

"Great!" she exclaimed. "Anytime you need a haircut, Anakin, just let me know."

"You'd do it again?" I asked. I could kind of wrap my head around her doing it this time. After all, she was here. I was here. And I needed a haircut. Could I consider the idea of Padme Naberrie actually coming here again with the intended purpose of shortening my hair? I couldn't fathom it.

"Of course," she said. "I like cutting hair." I dropped my gaze from the mirror and thought about it, but I still couldn't see her coming back here and doing this again.

Padme moved up beside me, and I leaned forward on the sink, grasping the edge of it tightly. If I let go, I might run. She was right next to me. "You don't really like things to change very much, do you?"

"No," I whispered. "It's really okay, though?" she asked. "Your hair, I mean?"

"It's really okay."

"Can I ask you something else?"

"You just did," I reminded her. "That was a question. Did you mean it to be rhetorical?"

 _Shit, shit,_ _ **shit**_ _._ I shut my eyes a second. I was pretty sure that wasn't an appropriate response. I remembered the school counselor's voice in my head. _"Focus and concentrate, Anakin. Try to think about the response before you say it. Is it appropriate for the situation? Does it fit the theme of the discussion?"_

Padme mashed her lips together, and I felt my shoulders tense up a bit. "I was going to ask you if you didn't think something was okay, would you tell me it was?"

"Yes," I said truthfully. "At least, probably."

"Is your hair really all right?" she asked again. Her voice was full of concern and anxiety. "You can tell me if it isn't—I can change it a bit or at least know better next time."

"It's really okay," I told her. I watched my hands curl around the edge of the sink. My knuckles had gone white.

"I'm going to get going," Padme said as she put her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm itchy," I said.

Padme laughed. "That would be from the hair I cut off, you know."

"I know. I need a shower."

"Well, I'm definitely going, then." Padme snickered and headed back downstairs. I watched Padme walk through the front door, waving as she left. I shook my head to clear it and then took a quick shower. My head stayed in a bit of a fog for the rest of the afternoon. It wasn't a bad fog—just strange. I felt a little lighter or something. I cleaned up the hair on the kitchen floor and decided to do a load of laundry as well. Dumping the dirty shirts and pants into a laundry basket, I took them downstairs to the washer. I checked everything that had a pocket, just in case I left something in one, which I almost never did. If something did get left in a pocket—like a tissue or something—and it ended up shredded and clinging to everything, I had to wash the clothes all over again. I grabbed my jeans from yesterday and reached into each pocket in turn. Front right, back right, back left, front left.

I didn't really want another heat-and-eat dinner or something out of a box in the pantry. I was still a little bit chilled from the rain before, so I definitely wanted something warm. Padme Naberrie was in my house. She gave me a haircut. I ran my hand through my hair and thought about how it felt when she was touching it. It was good. It felt good and weird. It felt weird now because it didn't take my fingers as long to get through it. It still wouldn't stay down—it was all over the place—but I was used to that. I realized I was still smiling and decided to make shepherd's pie.

I got out a bag of potatoes, peeled and cut them up, then put them to boil while I picked out a bag of frozen vegetables to go with it. I found some garlic bread, too, and decided that might round it out nicely. When the potatoes were done, I placed everything in a casserole dish and stared at it. It was enough to feed an entirely family. A family I didn't have any more. Not quite true. I had my aunt and uncle. I tried not to rely on them too much, but sometimes it couldn't be helped. With the dish in the oven and the timer set for exactly thirty minutes, I heard a buzzing noise. I pulled my cell phone out of my backpack.

It was my Uncle Obi-Wan.

"Anakin," he greeted. "I'm almost done repairing your car." Over a week ago I had gotten in an accident. It's not that I couldn't repair it myself, it's just with high school coming to a close this year I was incredibly busy and Obi-Wan said my education was important. He promised it would be in working order soon. "Have you got a rental car yet?" He asked.

"No."

I heard him sigh through the line. "Don't tell me you've been walking home by yourself every day."

"Not every day," I said. "Today I got a ride home."

"Oh? Did Kit drive you?"

"No." There was a bit of a pause on the phone. Outside the window, two squirrels were running around the big pine tree. Their tails twitched as they chased each other in and out of the branches. "Well, are you going to tell me who took you home? Focus, Anakin."

"Sorry," I mumbled. I guess it made sense that Obi-Wan wanted to know how I got back here. "Padme Naberrie took me home."

"Who's that?"

"A girl from my school." I thought about it and decided he was going to want more. "We're in ecology together. We have a project we're starting this week about bees. I'm supposed to go to her house tomorrow to work on it. It was raining, and she saw me on the road, and even though she parked on the wrong side, she moved, so I got a ride with her, and she cut my hair."

There was silence before"Did I just hear you right? Ana-Anakin...Do you have a girlfriend?"

"She is a girl," I said. The word he used—girlfriend—didn't quite hold meaning for me. "I'm not sure if we're friends or not."

"She cut your hair?"

"Yes. She said it needed it. I was going to wait until the end of the month."

"Does she work at a salon?"

"I didn't ask."

"Well, where did she cut your hair?" I could tell by the tone of Obi-Wan's voice that he was getting a little frustrated. I obviously wasn't giving him the information he wanted, but I didn't know what he wanted, so I wasn't sure how to fix it.

"In the kitchen."

"At the house?"

"Yes."

"Your house?"

"Yes." Obi-Wan chuckled lightly into the phone. "I think that counts as a friend, at the very least," he said. "Kit's not been over, has he?"

"No, we go to his house or Uptown to do stuff. He's never been here."

"Right," Obi-Wan whispered.

"Well, I want to hear more when I get there, okay? I'll bring Satine's car over, and you can drive me back." Obi-Wan arrived a few minutes later. He and my dad looked a lot alike according to what I had heard, but my dad died when I was a barely six and I don't remember much of him.

"So tell me more about this girl," Obi-Wan said not long after he entered.

"Padme Naberrie," I said. "Her eyes are brown."

He tilted his head to one side. "That's it, Anakin?"

"Oh, um…" I stammered. I didn't really know what to say about her. "I sat behind her today in ecology."

"I thought you sat by Kit."

"There was a new kid," I said quietly. I didn't want to think about it too much and bring the memory back. "He was in my seat."

"Did you take it okay?" Obi-Wan's tone was guarded.

"No."

He sighed and rubbed his beard. "I'm sorry. I'll call the school again, okay?"

"I thought they wouldn't discuss me with you," I reminded him. "I'm eighteen, and there isn't any guardianship or anything."

"Well, they can listen at least !" Obi-Wan said, his eyes shone with fierce protection. He always felt like he had to look after me. "I'll call Palpatine guy myself. He obviously hasn't read your IEP or your 504 plan. He was supposed to talk to Mr. Organa last semester. He shouldn't be putting you through that."

"Please don't," I said quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because," I said as I took a deep breath, "It's too much. I can take care of myself. Trust me."

With a huff of air through his nose, Obi-Wan reluctantly conceded. "I should have been your guardian." Obi-Wan said for the zillionth time. "But by the time your mom...Passed on you had just turned eighteen and..."

"Obi-Wan," I whispered. I felt my whole body seizing up on me.

"Sorry, Anakin." Obi-Wan looked at me and sighed again. He sighed a lot "It's just that…if I had more direct ties to you legally, I could do more for you."

"You do more than enough," I told him again. We'd had this same conversation twenty-four times. "I'm eighteen. Everything's in my name, and I'm okay."

"No, you aren't," he mumbled. "You need to go back into therapy. You had fewer attacks on that medication."

"I don't have any extra money for more prescriptions, and the therapy isn't covered," I reminded him. "Making up for what Medicaid won't pay for Ahsoka's care is expensive enough. I can get back into it after I graduate. Once I'm at college, the financial aid stuff will kick in, and I'll be able to afford it."

"I told you I'd pay for it."

"And I told you I wasn't taking any more of your money. You can't spare it, and you're already helping with Ahsoka."

"I still can't believe they didn't give me her guardianship. You shouldn't have to deal with all of this." He almost sounded like he was whining, but Uncle Obi-Wan never whined. He was too dignified for that, that's what mom used to say anyway.

Back some months ago Obi-Wan fought to have both of us put under his care, but I proved to the courts that I was high-functioning enough to do it on my own.

"I should be her guardian," I said. "She's my sister."

"Your _needful_ sister," he emphasized.

"But my sister still." We stared at each other for a minute.

We'd been at this impasse before. "I'm doing all right, Obi-Wan," I told him. "I mean, I'm not really much more fucked up than I was before. I'm doing as well as can be expected for someone who lost their mom, and it happened less than a year ago. All my other issues are just icing."

"Icing!" Obi-Wan grunted. I ran my hand through my hair again, which reminded me of the haircut. "You shouldn't be alone here," Obi-Wan said. He knew this argument was a lost cause, too.

"I'm _not_ selling the house."

"You wouldn't have to."

"Obi-Wan," I growled. I normally kept my temper under check or at least tried, but Obi-Wan somehow found a way to always wind me up. "I _**want**_ to stay here," I said firmly. I looked at him until he finally nodded. He knew this was a subject on which I would not budge. I wanted to be independent. I wanted my mom to know I could take care of myself and Ahsoka without becoming a burden to Obi-Wan and Satine. "The meds I take now work well enough. Ahsoka's SSI covers her stuff, and the other supplemental income I get is enough to pay the bills. I'll take care of the issues at school, too."

"If you went to that other school in Tatooine, the resources would be better. Your mother's family's from there." He reminded me again. "You'd have more connections. More than just Satine and I."

"I didn't want to change schools when I started high school, and I certainly don't want to change now. There are only three months left!"

"I know." Rubbing his tired eyes he added under his breath, "I never can win with you."

"I'm all right, Obi-Wan. Really. Even the social worker said so when she checked on me last week."

Obi-Wan nodded mutely. "If anything else happens in that class, I'm talking to Palpatine," he told me as he dropped the keys to Satine's Civic in my hand.

I drove him back to his place on the other side of town. We didn't talk much more. I wondered if the idea of talking to Mr. Palpatine might have put him off. He hated that guy. Briefly I wondered if Mr. Palpatine taught when Obi-Wan went to school there. Obi-Wan was my dad's younger brother by thirteen years, and it wasn't that long ago that he was a student at Academy High.

"Take care, Anakin," Obi-Wan said as he got out of the car. "I still want to hear more about this Naberrie girl."

"Okay," I said. "Thanks."

As soon as the word was out of my mouth, I knew I had screwed up.

Padme drove me home and saved me from the rain. She brought me my book bag. She gave me a haircut. I _hadn't_ said thank you.

 _Shit, shit,_ _ **shit**_ _._

I couldn't let it go. I had to fix it.

The short, panting breaths coming out of my mouth were making me all dizzy and light-headed. I sat in Satine's car in the driveway of Padme Naberrie's house. I came here to thank her, but I couldn't get out of the damn car. Every time I tried, my insides felt like they were going to pop right through my skin and splatter over the cement. I didn't understand myself at all. She had been in my house, and it hadn't caused any reaction like this. She'd been close to me, touched me, cut my hair. Why couldn't I walk up to her house and say thank you?

My hand grasped the handle of the car door, and I tried again. The result was the same. I dropped my elbows onto the steering wheel and put my face in my hands. I slowly shook my head back and forth while I growled and swore at myself. Giving up on talking to her but still insisting on correcting my infraction, I turned the car back on and drove Uptown to the Hallmark store to look for a thank-you card. At least I could put it in her mailbox. I was pretty sure I could handle that. Thinking about it didn't seem to upset me.

None of the cards said "Thanks for the ride" or "Thanks for the haircut." I found some cards that just said "thank you" on them in gold script with the card all blank inside, so I bought one of those. Then I sat in the car for thirty minutes trying to figure out what to say. I wrote a few words, then tore the card up and went back inside for another card. The cashier gave me a weird look, but I ignored her. I did that two more times before I settled on something that I didn't think was too bad.

 _Dear Padme,_

 _Thank you for giving me a ride home and cutting my hair. I'm sorry I forgot to say that before._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Anakin Skywalker_

I took a deep breath and slid the little card into an envelope and sealed it. Then I flipped it over and wrote Padme on the front. I looked at it for a bit and decided to add her last name—Naberrie. I smiled as I drove back to her house and pulled up near the mailbox. I realized I hadn't put her address on the front of the card, so I added that as well. Of course, since I hadn't planned to write that much on the card, it didn't all fit with the same-sized letters. At least I had the extra envelopes from the other cards I had messed up, so I ripped the card out of the first one and put it into a blank envelope. I wrote her name and address again. Just before I put it in the mailbox, it occurred to me that the mail carrier just might think they were mailing a letter out, not receiving one, and could collect it and take it back to the post office. It didn't have a stamp or anything on it, so it could end up being lost completely. She would think I was insanely rude and might never speak to my again. How would we get our project done? I pulled the card back to my chest. Maybe if I wrote my return address on it, it would at least come back to me due to a lack of postage. How long would that take, though? Coruscant mail wasn't known for being overly fast even when there is the correct postage on a letter. I considered taking it up to her front door, but the thought immediately started my heart pounding. Just looking at the little, covered porch and thinking of myself walking up there and ringing the bell made my stomach clench and threaten to expel dinner. Satine would be really pissed if I threw up in her car. That idea started a whole other attack.

I dropped the card onto the passenger seat and got out of the car altogether. The air outside the car smelled fresh and clean, which helped calm me a bit. I leaned against the driver's side door and put my face back in my hands.

"Anakin?"

 _Shit, shit,_ _ **shit**_ _!_

I lowered my hands and saw Padme Naberrie standing at the curb near her mailbox. "What are you doing here?" I looked down to the street under my shoes and kicked at a tiny little rock there. There was another one a few feet away, so I kicked it, too. Then a third. I kept kicking rocks until there weren't any left in my reach and then started looking for more.

"Anakin? Are you okay?" I didn't know how to respond. I wasn't okay, but focusing on the rocks had made the attack go away at least. I could breathe normally, and my heart wasn't pounding too much. I wasn't okay, though. I needed to give her that card, and I wasn't sure how to do that.

" _Sometimes you just have to do,_ _Ani_ _. Don't think. Just do."_ Mom's voice in my head came at a pretty good time. I turned and opened the car door, leaned inside, and grabbed the card. If I gave it directly to her, at least it wouldn't get lost in the mail. I grasped the envelope in my hand, backed out of the car, and walked slowly over to where Padme was standing. She was still calling my name as I raised my hand and gave her the card. I ran my hand through my shorter hair and cringed a bit as she reached out and took the card from me. I couldn't stand to watch her read it, so I got back in the car and drove away. It might not have seemed like much to anyone else, but I was reasonably pleased with myself.


End file.
